What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

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How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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Nippies

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A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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