Penisland

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Lil Wayne

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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Q. What is black and nobody cares when they step on it? A. Asphalt

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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