Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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