Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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