Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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There's a black guy and a white guy standing in a bar, surprisingly the black guy doesn't die. This isn't a racist joke.

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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Knock Knock Whos there? I dunno I didnt answer the door

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

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whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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