- Anti Joke

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

What do you call a black priest? A black priest

What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

A ginger was with his friends

brandon ya twwat