A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? cuz thers no point!!!!

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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raisin boogers

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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