How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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