A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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poop is very very yummy.

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what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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my shift key is broken1

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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charlie sheen losing

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops