what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

What comes after 23? 24.

What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

Womens rights

why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

What's the best joke in the world? This one.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...