Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

Whats better than 24? 25.

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

My thanks to those that thumb down my comment below, you have the possibilty to become one of my over 100.000.000 members, as long as you follow your heart, your own will, we got you covered. We got over 600.000 never members since last year, you are far from alone, thumb this comment up, leave a small comment, and I shall send one of my shadows to tell you more, or online if you prefer that, but then I would need your email address... ...As for your home address? Nah, already know it just let me know if you want a visit, but during my 6000 years on earth or so, I have yet to evolve to the point where I fully understand the full nature of computers, they are very recent to me. Yet only those that are willing to follow their hearts and enact their true hidden desires without shame, guilt, remorse, but instead with love and gusto, will find the answers among us. Soon my wings shall spread, and just like that, the world is ours! Moral: "Fuck Morals, would you believe me if I said they where in code? No they are not, the secrets are only within the shadows, and the Black Angel. Nero.

Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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