Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Gun Control

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is the black man black? because he isnit white

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops