Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

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What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

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No.

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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