A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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Nippies

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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Tell you something funny.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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Jews

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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