A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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Your mom.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The cops, your parents are dead and now you are an orphan.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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