Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I share two rooms with my mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops