The Pope

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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womens rights

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her in the head.

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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