A man walks into a pole.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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obamas trench

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Test

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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