How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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A man walks into a pole.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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banana

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Test

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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