A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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69

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Test

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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It’s dead.

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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