Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

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What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

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Spotto

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EGGPLANT

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops