Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Poop swing

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

thumb_up thumb_down +27

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Nicolas Cage's acting.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops