Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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Poop swing

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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