A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops