why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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Guess what? Holocaust

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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lol a man is drowning

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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I never asked for this.

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Harry Styles

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Where do black guys sit in the bus? Enywhere theres a free seat

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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