What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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Men, get on the boat.

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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