How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A mans opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I pooped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops