When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

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Why did the litle boy's hat come off? cause he got hit by a train!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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hi patrick

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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Two elks were out flying one day. One of the elks turned to the other one and said: - You have a cinnemon bun in your eye. - What? - You have a cinnamon bun in your eye! - WHAT? - YOU HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN YOUR EYE!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN MY EYE!

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Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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split your ass cheek

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

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Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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What did Spiderman do when he saw a crime taking place? He stopped it

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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