Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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