what do you call a gay guy Ej

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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A black guy gets a job...

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Charlotte Bobcats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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