What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

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I pooped.

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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I ponder

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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A mans opinion.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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