- Anti Joke

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.