- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

Why is pi? Because circles.

A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops