I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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A man walks into a pole.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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