Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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^that joke's not funny

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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