What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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hey

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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666

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^that joke's not funny

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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