What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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A man walks into a pole.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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