Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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69

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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