I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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69

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Penis.

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1,984

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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