Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is a chair?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than eating cows. Death

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops