Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

Hi

What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

What do you get when you cross an l with a line? A t.

Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

why did the boy have to go to the dentist he was hit by a brick

A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

Why did the kid tell yo mama jokes to insult other kids? His mom had just committed suicide due to depression caused by the kid's bad habits.

i dont like attention whores lol

A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

what did the shark do when he died.....

what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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