What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

She said no

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

thumb_up thumb_down +16

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops