Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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