What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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What do you call 200 black people dead in the ocean? It's a start.

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YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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