Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

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i have two hands.

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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