What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops