Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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You are Nerochan right?

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Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

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What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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a black kid goes and gets some cereal and spills some flower on him self and he goes to his grandma and says look grandma i`m white and then she slaps him he goes to his grandpa and says look grandpa i`m white and then he slaps him and then he goes to his mom and then says look mom i`m white and then she slaps him then he goes to his dad and then says dad i`ve been white for 20 minutes and i all ready hate yall nigas

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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69

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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