How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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Penis.

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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These Jokes suck.

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Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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