Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

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What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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What do you call a black cop? Officer.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

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you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

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Tell you something funny.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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69

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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