what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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knock knock ... no one was in

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

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i'm funny

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What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

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Mmmmmmmmbutch

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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