Membean

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press Ctrl and F4 on ur key pad

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Tell you something funny.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops