What time is it? 20:45.

why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

hey guys what's up?

There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

Wanna hear a joke? No.

Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

Once I asked a Chinese girl , how do I look ? . She said you Europeans all look the same .

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

shammmm is a lesbian.

Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

A horse walks into a bar and doesnt order a drink. Because he cant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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