Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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The biggest joke in anti-joke are these two MOST FAVED What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. +17662 likes MOST HATED whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven -1714 dislikes GUESS WHAT : they are both jew jokes

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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i like pie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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