How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did John stay home from school? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Dogs in my home.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

President Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops