What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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Aladdin found a rusty old lamp at the foot of a mountain. He rubbed it and the Ginnie had died after the long drop from the cliff

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i got one question Screw You

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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